Red Sox “Nation” Invites Fakes

Red Sox Nation is a campaign utilized by Red Sox brass to much success regarding making money.  However, the slogan itself has become a monster.  Wherever one watches a game when the Red Sox are playing, you will see signs made by fans claiming to be members of this fraternity.

Go to Fenway Park, and the majority of seats should be occupied by those who used to suffer along with the rest of Boston Red Sox fans prior to 2004.  I wish this were true.

Most of the fans going to Fenway Park these days are the ones who suddenly became Sox “fans” when the Red Sox started winning in 2004.  The real fans are the ones struggling to get tickets and sitting in bars outside of the ballpark so they can still watch the game and be close enough to the park to feel like they’re in there.  There needs to be a competency test for fans who wish to become members of this “Red Sox Nation”, a group which as a real Sox fan, I have come to hate.

Example: my favorite player when I was a kid was Tim Naehring.  If you know who Tim Naehring is, you are a real Sox fan, congratulations.  If you are over the age of 18 and you claim to be a lifelong Sox fan, but your knowledge of the Red Sox stops at 2004, you need to get off the bandwagon.

Real Yankees fans, I now feel your pain.  My uncle and cousins are diehard Yankee fans, and were born that way.  Once the Yankees started winning again in ’96, everyone jumped on the bandwagon, and have not yet gotten off.  It kills my cousins and uncle to see this.  If you go to a Yankee game, look around.  Whenever you see an Alex Rodriguez jersey, you are looking at a bandwagon fan.  No real Yankee fan buys the shirt or jersey of a player until they have earned their pinstripes.  I hope A-Rod never leaves the Yankees though, because as Sox fan, he’s just too much fun to hate.  So let’s start this Red Sox competency test.  You can find the answers on the Internet, along with everything else, but if you don’t know the answers to these questions, you’re a fraud, and go find a new team’s life force to sap, you make the real fans look like douchebags.

How many World Series Championships have the Red Sox won?

Who wore the number 9 for Boston before it was retired for that same player?

Who hit the game-winning home run in game 6 of the 1975 Word Series for the Sox?

For real bonus points, who hit the game tying home run earlier in that same game to set up extra innings?

Whose number 6 was retired last season for the Sox, and is still a member of the organization today?

Who is the REAL # 24?

Which Sox owner sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees?

Before 2004, when was the last time the Red Sox made it to the World Series? (for real fans, this is heart-wrenchingly easy)

Who was #8, and even had his own song and hats?

Jason Varitek has caught 4 no-hitters for the Boston Red Sox, an MLB record.  Who were the 4 pitchers to throw them?

Finally, which two New York Yankee players have earned the middle name of F***ing due to their crushing home runs against Boston?

These questions are pretty easy for baseball fans in general, but if you can’t answer them, kindly step off the bandwagon and never get back on…ever.


2 responses to “Red Sox “Nation” Invites Fakes

  1. I couldn’t agree with you more, Andy! Because I’m a true Duke fan through and through, fortunately I haven’t really experienced many tough times. There was a brief time in the mid-90’s where they were struggling with injuries and the absence of the brilliant Coach K…that was heartbreaking enough for me. haha.

    Now my mom on the other hand is a diehard Phillies fan. Oh yeah, you want to talk about pain and humiliation, talk to a Phillies fan. Not many fans are ridiculed the way Philly fans are. As you can imagine, she’s had a permanent smile etched on her face since October.

    Anyway, this story sums up her experiece as a diehard Philly fan perfectly. She remembers my grandfather taking her to a game when she was 5 or 6. The Phillies lost, of course, and she was sitting in her seat crying. A man walked up and asked my grandfather why she was crying and he said, “because the Phils lost.” The man replied, “oh boy, she better get used to crying.”

  2. That’s a great story with a sweet quote to end it. That’s like my love for the Sox pre-2004. I could get over anything because of what the Sox did to me every year. haha. Thanks for reading!

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